Friday, December 28, 2012

... paHit & maNis...

Dia... 

setelah lama x tulis blog jd ni la sbb dan masanya... sebelum ini ain x pernah ceritakan sape dia yg so special n yet do damn bad ass man.. hehehe.. jahatkn bahasa.. sorry couldnt help it..

so starting from 2nd year in matrix... getting to noe stranger quiet amuse me at that time... u can called it blind date.. huhuhuhu.. scary at first but just go with the flow... at first meeting him.. he was some one that was so not in my imagination at all.. u can say good looking.. yeah.. but too naive like me.. hihihi.. y?!! bcoz i can predict what he did upon his action.. well i can be PI rite?.. hehehe

soon.. i got to noe his big family... like a family that i missed n wish to have in future... his mother was so nice despite of her illness, she was diagnosed with kidney disease... she had to go for dialysis 3 x a week.. she so strong struggle to overcome it.. she was the toughest woman that i admired... seriously!!... his father was so generous.. hehehe.. what can i say he got 2 wives... well u can imagine... but the sincerity n responsibility that his father showed touched my heart... what a family that he had.. that actually made me fall in love with him...

it was how i was falling in love with him...

to continue my degree i had to go to main campus in kuantan... we talked... n decided to continue... i had to go and back kuantan to kl.. like once or twice a month... its ok... coz when u r in love ur willing to do anything rite?...

so that's how it goes... few break ups and reconciles hehehe... we still together... we planned to get married... i had some preparation like khusus kawin had taken placed... while he was not yet.. then some for hantaran... then troubles came up.. i had to extend my degree coz of a requirement subject failed... i gave my all try to finish it during short sem but failed again.. then rite now im waiting for final exam.. it is hard for me.. when i couldnt see him for couple of months.. but still we kept in touch...

then my sister said she wanted to get married.. then it was all good from my parents... ok for him.. yeah she got engage last 2 weeks... enough about her..

during my hardship struggle for my degree he wanted to put a stop to our relationship... i was like Allah took my breath away... coz i just met him during the weekend 2 days after that he broke our relationship... i was hurt badly... if anyone n my place may be will kill herself... with out any suspicious thing i said ''ok...kalo abg da bwt keputusan mcm tu... ain da x de ape2 lg nak ckp... janji2 abg selama ni hanya ckp2 kosong sahaja kn?''... he didnt answer it... as far as i noe i didnt do any thing... 

im not writting this post to get attention from anybody just to let go what i feel... im just keeping all this in side me... i thought that one sweet day i will introduce him to u guys as my husband... but i was just a dream... a dream that only me imagining our future... only me... 

when i pm his sister about this... she said he already planned to get married with another woman... the wedding will be some day on March next year... i was TOTALLY cheated with all this and during the whole year that i spend with him... 

inilah pahit & manis yg ain tempuhi sepjg 5 tahun bersamanye... ye die bahagia kerana ade pengganti... x pe lah.. nak bwt mcm mane... selama ni ain yg cube sedaya upaya to make thing relationship work.. but at the end he just buang mcm tu je...

remembering him make me feel how stupid i m... seriously... no words from his family again.. n no wards form him again... that s what i hope from now on...

moving forward is all that i wanna do... finish up my degree n hopefully continuing with master n so on... when this kind of hard ship i faced.. i feel close to my parents more... n especially to HIM... betul ckp ustazah dulu... DIA adalah kekasih kite yg paling unggul...

p/s: girls when ever u feel u were left alone... No HE actually next to u.. just have faith and continuously pray...


xoxo : ainnadzri  

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